Wednesday, November 21, 2007

MANIAC (1934)




Pre-shades of Ed Wood! This exploitation flick has a little bit of everything; academic descriptions of various mental illnesses, nudity, depravity, disjointed scenes, subplots that vanish, but mostly, the most vivid display of over-acting that one could ever ask for!
The portrayer of the mad scientist goes so far over the top that he needs a stepladder and an encyclopaedia to stand on. Imagine Jon Lovitz's actor character magnified tenfold. Amusingly, at one point in the film he calls the actor who is portraying his assistant "a ham".
Unfortunately, this actor's character dies about a third of the way through the story. Perhaps he decided to make the most of his part while it existed by memorably chewing up all the scenery. And believe you me, he had quite an appetite! But, to the viewer's good fortune, his meek assistant (who bears a resemblance to the main character in "Eraserhead") adopts the guise of the deceased mad scientist and begins to emote nearly as profusely as his predecessor. Oh, joy!
The over-emoting runs rampant in this movie as nary an actor appears that does not leave his or her mark.
However, make sure that you have your reading glasses handy as there are several long stretches of verbiage describing different types of mental illnesses that are inserted and scrolled throughout the movie. Y'see, it's educational too!
An actress named Phyllis Diller (but not the same one that we all know and love) portrays Mrs. Buckley, a woman who wishes to mind-control her maniac husband with the assistance of the fake mad doctor. Unfortunately, her husband (who has a great "going insane" scene after being acidentally injected with "super adrenaline") runs amok and kidnaps a young woman who was brought back from the dead (and happened to wander into the scene) and is never heard from again.
As you can imagine, it would be futile to attempt to describe a plot. There are severable memorable lines of dialogue sprinkled throughout this celluloid catastrophe. One of my two favorites is "I may not be decent but I'm sure gonna be clean." This Mae Westian line is uttered by a young lady who is taking a bath. This occurs during "the apartment scene" where a quartet of cuties cavort about in their lingerie and various stages of undress. The other is "The cats eat the rats, the rats eat the cats and I get the skins." That line is spoken by the entrepenurial neighbor of the mad scientist.
There are a couple of disturbing scenes in this movie but mostly it's one hilarious moment after the other.
Sensibilities, be damned---see this flick! It'll take less than an hour out of your life.

Friday, November 16, 2007

DEATH WISH SERIES


DEATH WISH (THE SERIES)-

Poor Paul Kersey (Charles Bronson) talk about bad luck, no matter where he ends up, all the people in his life get brutally murdered for no good reason.....so you can't really blame the guy for going around cities getting his revenage.
The "Death Wish attititude" come to mind everytime someone cuts me off on the highway...

I have to say watching it for the first time it really scared the heck out of me....this movie paints a horrorible picture of the inner city, rapists and ciminals run free, causing violent chaos it's scary enough for anyone to lock up their doors and stay inside for the rest of their lives.

Yes there is no humor in the graphic violent scene in this series, but the way you see punks run amok on the streets you can't help but giggle. Especailly in "Death Wish 2" you see a young Lawrence Fishbourne (before he gained 100 pounds and became Morpheous in the Matrix) and his gang of evil doers dressed in over the top 80's gear and running around free in downtown L.A. Hookers on every street corner, not one cop in sight, women and groped and harrassed on a crowded bus, while other gang members sprays graffitti all over and no one is doing a thing about it; until Paul (Bronson) picks up his gun and starts to clean up the neighborhood.

A great sense of joy and relief come into mind when you see Bronson shoots and attacks without blinking. Watching those punks getting what they deserve can bring a smile on anyone's face. Bronson does such a good job it makes it look easy, I bet every man who saw theese movies want to go out and buy a gun and walk into the nearest crime scene and starts shooting.

Aside from the fights and guns, the corny music and Jill Ireland's accent these movies give you such a feeling that you are watching an extremely violent Mentos commercial. Jill looks and sounds like she her voice was dubbed for some reason, and the rest of the cast were all dressed in such a humorous way, they almost resemble the old hench men on the Batman TV show with their names like Thug and Lefty written on their shirts.

These movies are made for the man's a man, lots of machoness going on here and a lot of belly laughs too...

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Horror at 37,000 Feet

Another classic from the Golden Age of Made-For-TV movies! With a cast that includes Chuck Connors, William Shatner, Tammy Grimes, Russell Johnson, Buddy Ebsen, France Nuyen and Paul Winfield, you know your in for something interesting.

Starts out kind of like a Love Boat episode, but without the boat or the love. We meet the various characters as they board, and see the mysterious large container loaded on.

In a mostly empty "extra" flight, the crew and passangers of a London-to-New York jet find that they are sharing the flight with THE OLD ONES. Seems an architect (Thinnes) has brought aboard some relics from an old abbey that include an ancient Druid sacrificial stone.

After take-off, various awful things happen, and the plane is suspended in mid-air, unable to move. The lower deck starts to freeze and jibbering voices are heard.

No, Chuck didn't just find out that the in-flight movie was NATCHO LIBRE...


"...you see Gilligan, The Old Ones were a race of dark gods..."










The panicking passangers are enlightened to the situation by Tammy Grimes (who was against the relics leaving England) and former-priest-who-lost-his-faith William Shatner -- It's the summer solstice, and if they can get through to the next sunrise, they'll be safe from The Old Ones.

Some get together and offer a "sacrifice" --- a doll all made up with some human hair and blood -









That doesn't work out too well...















As things are looking grim, Bill sets out, torch in hand to confront the mysterious forces











Before he can get too far, the sun begins to break over the horizon, but Bill continues on into the hold of the plane, because he "...has to see"












Seeing this as a kid back in the early 70s, I found it to be quite frightening. I still find it is very effective, with some very creepy moments!

Friday, November 2, 2007

STAR WARS EPISODE II-ATTACK OF THE CLONES




STAR WARS EPISODE 2-ATTACK OF THE CLONES-

I know, I already talked about the prequels to the "Star Wars" series, but I just have to talk about it again..because it is so bad! Let's start with Hayden Christensen's acting...you can say he's a lousy actor with no emotions reading his lines right out of the page OR you can say that he's suppose to be the same kid that was seen in "Episode 1" played by Jake Lloyd, who was absolutely awful!

The other thing that annoyed me about this flick was the bickering between Anakin Skywalker and his mentor Obi-Wan Kenobi. The 2 were almost as mean to each other as Abbott and Costello without the slapping and the humor. Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor) constantly talking down to Anakin by referring him as his "Young inexperienced apprentice" ...saying things like: "Oh don't be so inpatient my young disciple" he might as well say : "Oh don't be so inpatient my young retared student, or my arrogant retard of a child..."

Then Anakin has nothing but a dead pan delivery of repsonses like "Master I was only..."
Master this and Master that, you'd think you are watching an episode of "I dream of Geni"

Having Samuel L Jackson as one of the Jedi councilmen was a bad idea, the guy is just too ghetto to be sitting in a circle with likes of Yoda and others. Each time he opens his mouth, you'd expect the sentence is followed by the phrase m*therf*cker...

As for Christopher Lee's performance as the evil Count Dooku; well it was best described by one of my friends as "Dracula in space".